After several years working with youth in residential treatment in Albuquerque, WNMU alumna Shelby Wilkie (BSW ‘16, MSW ’18) returned to Silver City looking for a change of pace. “I wanted a more peaceful environment,” she said. Wilkie began working for WNMU in August 2023 as the university’s new Mental Health Therapist.
Wilkie was sold on WNMU even before her interview for the position was over. As part of the interview process, she was asked to give a presentation to students on mental health, and was surprised by the responsiveness of the students involved. Unlike previous generations, said Wilkie, today’s college students are often more willing to seek mental health assistance. “I can get behind people who want help,” she said, “and I can help them all day long. That is what I was meant to do. . . It’s incredible how brave the students here are.”
Wilkie said she is interested in “dismantling that classic idea of what mental health is and what a therapist should look like. . . The biggest thing I want people to be able to feel with me is that this is an authentic connection with somebody who actually cares.” She is passionate about individual therapy. “I love therapy,” she said, “When you are in therapy, it is like nothing else matters. . . I am going to be really vulnerable with you, and that makes you want to be vulnerable with me, and . . . I get to know so many beautiful little intricacies about people that the rest of the world will never know.” Wilkie said she feels privileged to have the opportunity to work with people in this intimate way.
Wilkie appreciates the diversity of her work and having the creative freedom to take the mental health counseling program in new directions. “Right now my job is 50% individual therapy and 50% programming and group work,” she said. While Wilkie is passionate about individual therapy, she noted that the benefit of group work is that she can take a mental health concept or social issue and invite students into a broader conversation. She appreciates the opportunity to “tackle a concept on a bigger scale,” she said.
One of the recent group events she created focused on homesickness and provided tips for addressing it. Punning on the word “awful,” she called the event “Homesickness Is Waffle,” and she made waffles for students to incentivize attendance. She found the informal event a good opportunity not only to talk about homesickness but also to meet students and start to learn their stories.
According to Wilkie, “globally right now, what we are experiencing is tons of anxiety and tons of depression and we have people who are . . . deep in both of them.” This can be overwhelming for many people, she said, and some will turn to distractions that allow them to “pretend to be okay” and avoid feeling overwhelmed. “If you are actually letting yourself feel your feelings, but you don’t have the tools to manage them, you are going to feel like you are drowning.”
Helping equip students with the tools they need is central to her work. “The bulk of my work is psychoeducational,” Wilkie said. She helps people identify their emotional patterns, and provides ideas about how to manage them better.
Many of the tools she uses are centered in acceptance and commitment therapy. In this therapy, “You talk about what happens internally that gets you toward what you want.”
“When you are at the life that you would love to have,” she asks students, “how are you going to feel and what internal processes are going to be in play? And externally, what is that going to look like?” She also asks people to reflect on what is holding them back from the life they want to live. “So many people are scared to be sad, but being scared of sadness is what is keeping you from your genuine joy,” she said.
Another tool she uses is the “triangle of defense.” “Say you have a feeling that makes you super uncomfortable. For most people that would be something like sadness or hurt,” said Wilkie, “We have anxiety about having that feeling because its either not socially acceptable or it hurts too much, we don’t like it, [or] we are scared it is going to swallow us whole, so we immediately jump over to [a defensive position].” In defense, one might instead express anger to avoid the confronting the sadness or hurt that is the heart of the problem, but the defensive mechanism will in turn cause more anxiety because the problem is not being directly addressed. Her role is to help students break down their specific defenses, Wilkie said, “because mental health needs to be tailored to every specific person.”
Any student who would like help with their mental health is welcome to visit Wilkie’s office on the first floor of the Juan Chacón building, Suite 139, call her at (575) 538-6888 or email her at shelby.wilkie@WNMU.edu. Those experiencing a crisis can reach help around the clock by calling 911 or by calling or texting the suicide hotline at 988. Said Wilkie, “Life is hard and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”